Entering the dating scene can be difficult for a guy.
You may have profiles on all the major dating sites, but you just can’t seem to find success.
You may wonder what it is you’re doing wrong.
Here are a few reasons why dating is so hard for guys, from facing a lot of competition to facing certain stereotypes.
Why Is Dating So Hard for Guys? (10 Reasons)
1. Lots Of Competition
Dating is hard for guys because there’s a lot of competition.
Even if there are more women than men on a dating site or in an area, guys are up against each other.
Because there isn’t usually a shortage of men, women are able to be pickier when it comes to choosing someone to date.
You have to ensure that you’re the best pick of the lot.
This problem becomes even worse when you are in an area with more men than women.
Trying to date in a small town or even dating within a certain demographic can reduce how many available women there are.
For example, if you only date women within a certain age bracket, then you’re limiting yourself to that available pool of women.
There are other guys who are likely trying to date women from that pool.
As such, you end up with a lot of competition.
You can help reduce the competition by broadening your interests.
While you’re attracted to what you’re attracted to, there is always some room to expand.
You can also ensure that you look your best when on a date and practice your small talk.
On a dating site, you can put a lot of effort into ensuring you stand out.
By doing these small things, you can make yourself stand out a bit more amongst the rest of the guys.
Otherwise, you may find that dating is hard because of the high level of competition.
2. Wrong Dating Sites
Another reason dating is hard is that you could be using the wrong dating site.
In today’s digital age, there’s a dating site for practically everyone.
Whether you’re a farmer looking for someone from the same background, you practice a certain religion and are looking for someone of the same faith, or you’re looking for something less serious, the type of dating site you use is important.
If you’re looking for a long-term relationship, for example, then you shouldn’t be using dating sites that are primarily used for hookups.
You’re not going to find what you’re looking for there.
As such, dating can become hard.
The same goes for those who are looking for someone who shares their religious beliefs.
You’re likely not going to find this person on a site that promotes promiscuous activity.
To make dating easier, you first need to do your research.
Initially, you need to determine what core aspects the woman you want to date should have.
If religion is important, it makes sense that you’d want to find a dating site that caters to your religion.
If you want to find someone within the same wealth bracket as yourself, then you’ll want to find a dating site that caters to that wealth bracket.
Once you’ve found the correct site, your pool becomes more defined.
You’re able to make a profile that talks about who you are, what you value, and what you’re looking for in a partner.
The pool of women is going to be more likely to interact with you since everyone on the site has similar core beliefs or attributes.
If you’re using a dating site that doesn’t reflect what you’re actually looking for in a partner, then you’re going to find that dating is quite hard.
3. Terrible At Breaking The Ice
Another thing that makes it difficult to date is the inability to break the ice.
One of the hardest parts of a date is getting the conversation flowing.
What you say can make a lasting impression.
Dating sites are where some of the harshest judgments can happen.
On a dating site, you can be sure that a lot of your messages are going to get ignored if all you write is a simple “hello” or “hey.”
While these may seem like casual ways to break the ice, a lot of people consider them “low effort.”
Part of the reason simple greetings don’t cut it anymore is that women, in particular, get bombarded with tons of messages that all say the same thing each day.
Everyone starts to sound the same.
If you want to stand out, then you need to come up with a unique way of introducing yourself.
Of course, it’s also risky to get too wild with your introduction.
You can also rub someone the wrong way.
If you send them a large amount of text, for example, then that might annoy them or scare them away.
Breaking the ice in person isn’t easy either.
If you’re too casual, it can make you seem like you’re looking to become friends with them rather than romantic partners.
It can also make you appear boring.
As such, if you struggle with finding unique ways to break the ice, then you’re going to find that dating can be quite hard.
4. Some Women Play “Hard To Get” Too Well
Another reason dating is hard for guys is that some women are experts when it comes to playing “hard to get.”
Not all women play “hard to get.”
Many are just as eager to find a good partner and invest in them.
Others, however, like the feeling of someone romantically chasing them.
They like to see the effort.
The problem with that is that some women play “hard to get” too well.
They can come off as uninterested.
In today’s world where “no means no,” the cat-and-mouse game doesn’t work as well as it did before.
Girls who play “hard to get” may act as though they’re not interested, and a guy who is wary of coming off as pushy or creepy won’t pursue her as a result.
They’ll respect her apparent wishes and leave her alone.
Then the girl might get upset because the guy gave up on her.
There’s a bit of a disconnect that can happen during a romantic chase.
The rules are a bit more complex.
Because of that, a lot of guys don’t go for women who play “hard to get” anymore.
That can also narrow the pool of available partners.
This then increases competition and makes dating even harder.
Dating is hard when women play “hard to get.”
5. Rejection Feels Personal
Another reason dating is hard for guys is that rejection can feel very personal.
It can make someone want to stop trying.
For guys, rejection is especially common because it’s usually guys that take the shot.
They’re usually the ones who ask a girl out on a date in the first place.
As such, they’re putting themselves out there each time.
If the girl isn’t interested, then she has the power to tell him “no.”
It may not be personal.
For example, it may be as simple as the girl already being in a relationship.
However, rejection can’t help but feel personal in the world of dating.
That feeling gets compounded when you receive rejection after rejection.
It’s easy to become disheartened or think that something is wrong with you.
When you become too discouraged, it can make you want to stop trying.
You may not put as much effort into yourself or into making a good first impression.
That only increases the chances of being rejected which only further discourages you.
It becomes a downward spiral from there.
Dating is hard for guys because it’s easy to take rejection personally.
6. Not Great At Communication
Perhaps one of the biggest reasons why dating is hard for guys is that guys aren’t always the greatest communicators.
Of course, there are plenty of women who aren’t great communicators either.
When it comes to who gets blamed for issues due to poor communication, however, it’s usually guys who get the short end of the stick.
One of the reasons guys aren’t always great communicators is that they’re not always great listeners.
Most men do great when it comes to performing tasks.
They have a clear goal that they work toward.
A large part of the reason why men are good at performing tasks is due to the structure of their brains.
Scientifically, men don’t have as much grey matter in their brains as women, but they use it more often than women do.
Grey matter is primarily used to process information.
Women have more grey matter in their brains than men, but they tend to use the white matter in their brains more than grey matter.
As a result, something like listening isn’t a task that men’s brains excel at.
Because they’re not always great listeners, their ability to communicate also becomes more difficult.
To be a great communicator, you have to be able to really listen to what the other person is saying.
You need to determine their tone and mood about the topic of conversation.
Those nuances can then help you respond in a way that the person you’re communicating with finds satisfactory.
Since guys sometimes have trouble with this, it can make them undesirable to girls.
Girls want a partner who will listen to and understand them.
Effective communication is also the solid foundation of a lasting relationship.
If a guy doesn’t seem as though he’s good at communication, then girls might find him a waste of time.
Dating is hard for guys when they’re not great communicators.
7. Your Interests Don’t Align
Some guys find dating so hard because it’s sometimes difficult to find partners who share their interests.
Having some of the same interests can make a relationship flourish.
For one, it makes starting conversations a lot easier.
You’re both able to bond over that shared interest.
You may even discover that you share other interests, too.
That also makes dating easier since you can usually craft a date around that interest.
For example, if you both love video games, then you can always have a date where you play games together or go to an arcade together.
If you both like nature, then you can always take a hike or go kayaking on your first date.
It gives you the opportunity to make a memory together doing something that you both enjoy.
It’s when you can’t find a partner with the same interests that dating becomes a lot harder.
You may want to talk about your interests with someone, but since they don’t share that interest, they’re not as invested in the conversation.
They may want to share their interests with you, but if you don’t share those interests, you’re also not that invested.
Dating is hard for guys when they can’t find a partner who shares their interests.
8. Struggle With Emotional Vulnerability
Perhaps one of the biggest reasons why dating is hard for guys is that guys have a tougher time becoming emotionally vulnerable.
If you want to really connect with someone, then you need to be able to be vulnerable with them.
It’s the only way that you can truly feel close to someone.
For guys, this can be difficult to do.
Some guys just don’t feel emotions as keenly as others.
Some guys get stuck in the whole stereotype of being a man.
Toxic masculinity dictates that men shouldn’t feel emotions or shouldn’t show those emotions to others.
Because some men are raised in that sort of environment, it can be very difficult for them to become emotionally vulnerable.
This makes dating more difficult because it can make a partner feel as though the man is not interested in them or not feeling them romantically.
The opposite may be true.
However, because some guys struggle to be emotionally vulnerable, they don’t know how to reassure their partners that they do feel something toward them.
The inability to become emotionally vulnerable makes dating hard for guys.
9. Standards Are Wrong
Another reason dating is hard for guys is that they may have the wrong standards and perceptions of the dating world.
Some guys may set their dating preferences on perceptions they’ve gleaned from porn or the women they see on television.
It’s not unlike girls who have standards for men based on Disney princes or heroes from their favorite movies.
Some standards are just wrong.
Instead of focusing on physical attraction, for example, it might be better to focus on personality or interests.
That might make the dating process more realistic and successful.
Dating is hard for guys when they set their standards incorrectly.
10. Stereotype That All Men Are The Same
Some guys also find it hard to date because they’re held to the stereotype that all men are the same.
A lot of guys on dating sites may only have one goal.
However, there are guys who are looking for real romance and companionship.
Those guys often find it hard to date because the partners they meet may automatically think they’re just interested in one thing.
This expectation can set the mood or tone of the whole date.
The partner may keep thinking that the guy is going to make his move to get what he wants.
Meanwhile, the guy is just trying to make a connection.
It creates expectations that can ruin a date before it even starts.
Dating is hard for guys because of existing stereotypes that some guys must break through first to land a successful date.
Conclusion
Dating can be a warzone.
Guys often find it hard to date because they’re not always great at communicating, they may find rejection frightening or disheartening, and they may be looking for love in the wrong place.
By doing some research and refining their listening skills, some guys may eventually have an easier time with dating.
