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6 phrases that mean you live a happier, more hopeful life than most


After three decades researching human hope and happiness, I discovered a method you can use to measure your happiness. It’s based on this simple equation: 

Hope ÷ Hunger = Happiness

This math formula — hope divided by hunger equals happiness — says that the more hopeful and less hungry you are, the happier you become.

When I say hungry, I don’t just mean you have a hunger for food. I’m saying you have a compelling desire or craving for: 

  • Inclusion and acknowledgment
  • Intimacy and trusted companionship
  • Food and comfort 
  • Information and answers
  • Continuity and certainty

Hope, meanwhile, comes from: 

  • High self-esteem
  • Robust human relationships
  • A good sense of economic sufficiency
  • Adequate knowledge
  • Spiritual assurances

To measure hope and hunger — and therefore happiness — with this formula, I developed a questionnaire that identifies whether you’re languishing, flourishing, or functioning somewhere in between. 

If you’re languishing, it means you’re overwhelmingly hungry, unhappy, and disconnected, with feelings of emptiness, low hope, and a hollow sense of purpose. You’re functioning at the lowest end of the wellbeing spectrum.

If you’re flourishing, on the other hand, it means you’re happy, full of hope, and functioning well emotionally and socially. 

So if you can confidently make these six statements, you’re flourishing — living a happier, more hopeful life than most people:

1. ‘Generally speaking, I am an optimist’

If you can say this, it means that you habitually choose the most favorable interpretation of events and outcomes of the past, the present, and especially the future. To an optimist, the future is full of hope, whereas to the pessimist it’s full of hunger, or unfulfilled desires. 

Optimism makes you resilient. When you haven’t achieved a goal after a few attempts, you try and try again. And if you determine a goal is truly impossible to achieve, you modify it to keep hope alive. 

The predisposition for optimism is partly inborn and partly acquired or learned. You can learn to be more optimistic by noting and acknowledging that good things do happen, and anyone (including yourself) can make them happen.

2. ‘I have something to offer to other people’

This phrase reflects a high degree of self-esteem, or a strong belief in yourself. 

When you have something to contribute, it means you’re a consequential member of the community. You matter, and you belong. 

The best way to build this belief is to identify your true calling or passion — something you love to do and do very well. 

3. ‘I have someone I can count on’

Knowing you’re not alone in a life full of uncertainties is calming and anxiety-relieving. All humans have an inborn desire for human connection. 

When you have someone you can count on, especially in case of an emergency — whether it’s a family member, a friend, a neighbor, or a colleague — it mitigates the natural hunger for trusted companionship.

You can start today to gradually widen your circle of well-wishers and foster a sense of connection. Try to make a habit of doing things that make others smile. Send someone a note just because you’re thinking of them, give your neighbor a ride, compliment a friend, or let the other driver go first.

4. ‘When I need answers, I usually find them’

5. ‘When I think about what I have, I believe I’m more fortunate than many’

This phrase reflects gratitude for the economic assets you currently have or expect to have — including money, food, shelter, and other material resources — and the financial and material comfort that comes with them. 

As I wrote in my recent book “The Happiness Formula,” when you value and appreciate what you have, the value of what you have instantly appreciates. 

You can do small things every day as a good steward of the resources you have, including making your bed, tidying your desk, conserving water and electricity, and counting your blessings. 

6. ‘Relying on something larger than myself is reassuring’

Your spirituality — including your core beliefs, moral tenets, ethical convictions, religious faith, and virtuous practices — can give you reassurance about the future.

Spirituality might mean a belief in God or another force that offers divine guidance, protection, or supervision. But it doesn’t have to refer to organized religion or to religion at all. You can cultivate your own brand of spirituality. 

At the end of the day, spirituality is about that urge to respond to others’ material needs, the motivation to do things even when they don’t directly benefit you, and the hope and fulfillment you get as a result.

Dr. Alphonsus Obayuwana, MD, PhD, CPC, is a physician-scientist, happiness coach, and the founder and CEO of Triple-H Project LLC, dedicated to the promotion of more hopeful and happier communities. He’s published several peer-reviewed articles in national medical journals, including The Hope Index Scale, which was widely used at Fortune 500 companies and governmental and academic institutions around the world. Dr. Obayuwana is the author of “The Happiness Formula.

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I'm an American living in a $2,100/month luxury, 2-bedroom apartment in Copenhagen, Denmark

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