If you’ve made a reservation lately you’ve gone through what may feel like the nine circles of hell. You’ve coordinated a time with people of varying schedules and dietary dilemmas; found a restaurant with a table available, then begun the process of actually securing the reservation. You’ve read the fine print, entered your credit card, been warned about what “may” happen if you fail to show up or cancel, and possibly paid a deposit or non-refundable fee — maybe consulting with your lawyer on liability — and finally, pressed RESERVE. In many ways, the business of eating out has never been this complicated or stressful.
Take Carrie, who had a reservation for four at Casa Mono — the Bastianich-owned Spanish wine bar on Irving Place — but felt too sick to go. Rather than pay the $25 per person cancellation fee, she went, only to find they were turning people away at the door. “They would have filled my table easily, so it felt like a money grab,” she said. “It’s a shame because the food is innovative and I want to support that, but I also don’t want to be taken advantage of. I want to be met with some understanding.”
Any sort of understanding for restaurants is wearing thin, with cancellations hovering around 20 percent according to reservation services like Resy and OpenTable. These reservation services offer tools to help deter no-shows; features like non-refundable deposits, cancellations fees, and “four-strikes and you’re out” tags, yet as life gets back to something closer to normal post-pandemic, many operators are hesitant to charge the fee; they use it more as a deterrent, like a toothless warning from parents who will really never take away screen time.
John McDonald, who owns a slew of restaurants including Lure Fishbar and the newly opened Cha Cha Tang, won’t charge the fee even though he can. “We haven’t enforced it,” he said. “I am not trying to make a successful business by charging people for cancellations.” That’s even though McDonald can have up to 65 cancellations a night. “You’re playing a numbers game; it’s bad form to cancel or no-show, but it’s not worth risking ruining a relationship with a guest who can then talk trash about your restaurant.” (Restaurants have to deal with people challenging the fees via their banks, which also costs restaurants time and money.)
Terence Tubridy, founder of IGC Hospitality which owns Refinery Rooftop, Park Avenue Tavern, and Margie’s at The Rockaway Hotel, only charges diners who cancel on high-demand nights like Thanksgiving or New Year’s Eve. “This is not as a punishment, but to safeguard and protect the business,” he said. But he is also flexible and tries to work with customers who are charged so the relationship is not lost. “If a guest reaches out about a charge, that is an opportunity to engage and talk and make it right. We will credit it back, apply it to a future table, and help folks understand the economics of loss.”
Kate Edwards, a former longtime maître d’ at Balthazar, who is now a hospitality consultant, says she advises clients to handle no-shows and cancellations on a case-by-case basis. “These fees are a reaction to the high number of cancellations,” she said. “These are not ‘let’s gouge our customers’ policies. We want people to treat this seriously because a 20 percent no-show rate can really kill you.”
The cancellation rate has reached epic heights not only because a couple of folks get sick or would rather stay home to watch Ali Wong celebrate being divorced; industry leaders say it’s because of third-party bot services like Appointment Trader, Cita Marketplace, and Reservation “Resy” Sniper (unaffiliated with the Resy platform). “For too long, independent restaurants have struggled with third-party reservation platforms that list and sell reservations without the consent or knowledge of the establishments themselves,” said Erika Polmar, director of the Independent Restaurant Coalition.
In September, the IRC worked with members of Congress to introduce The SEAT Act of 2024, essentially an anti-bot, anti-reservation piracy bill that prohibits third-party reservation services from offering or arranging reservations without a clear, written agreement with the restaurant. “The goal is to help protect small businesses from this predatory behavior and help minimize missed reservations, no-shows, angry guests, and lost revenue,” said Polmar.
Flaking out on plans has a psychological component many see as an inevitable product of a tech-driven world. “A dinner reservation used to be something you were excited for,” said Mark Bucher, owner of the steakhouse Medium Rare. “Now, it’s just a faceless transaction. You don’t have to call and speak to someone. It is so easy to cancel and juggle reservations like a circus performer and then restaurants get stuck holding the bag.”
Indeed, when a diner gets a NOTIFY that there’s an opening at the Corner Store or some other top table, the initial reservation is often tossed aside, and many diners don’t bother to let the first restaurant know. Dr. Gail Saltz — a professor of psychiatry at the New York Presbyterian Hospital Weill-Cornell School of Medicine and host of the “How Can I Help?” podcast — compares the cancellation epidemic to the phenomenon of ghosting in dating (a term, interestingly, coined by former New York Times restaurant critic Pete Wells). “There is so much ‘overchoice’ that you see with restaurants, just like in the world of dating,” she said. “You can go online and make multiple reservations and just take the best one. It’s just like with the dating apps; people ghost you if something better comes along.”
Saltz says a lack of empathy is also fueling no-shows. “Diners are not interested in thinking about the consequences of canceling or not showing up for a table,” she said. “They don’t want to think that they have cost that restaurant a table, or that they are taking tips away from their staff. The idea is that dinner out is supposed to be fun, not a drama with hard big feelings. But that doesn’t make it okay.”
Known for her pioneering food blog, the Strong Buzz (now on Substack), Andrea covers restaurants, chefs, trends, and life around the table for Eater as well as Fast Company, The New York Times, New York Magazine, and more. She lives in Brooklyn with her two kids.
