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“It always seems impossible until it’s done.”
That famed quote from the legendary South African President Nelson Mandela is one of my favorites. No matter what goal I’m trying to achieve, nothing seems nearly as insurmountable as what Mandela managed to do — dismantling apartheid in South Africa and peacefully transitioning the country to majority rule. And yet, he did it. One step at a time, with no guarantee that he would succeed.
There are a lot of factors that go into making a successful entrepreneur, but I can tell you with 100% certainty that belief in yourself is one of them. Confidence is what allows you to overcome obstacles and survive setbacks. It’s also contagious — if you believe in yourself and your mission, others will, too.
Such confidence may seem like something you either have or you don’t, like brown hair or an aversion to cilantro. But that’s not true — it can be built. Here’s how.
Related: 10 Things You Can Do to Boost Self-Confidence
Set achievable goals
As humans, we tend to be overconfident in our abilities. As Harvard Business Review put it, “we want to feel good about ourselves not only in terms of our accomplishments but also in terms of our aspirations. Therefore, when we assess our own capabilities at taking on goals, we tend to be excessively charitable.”
While it can be beneficial to set long-shot goals, the consequences can also be damaging. False hope syndrome, or setting unrealistic expectations leading to a cycle of failure and renewed effort, can result in a significant drop in self-esteem. Before you know it, the goal has gone by the wayside, replaced by a much less productive sense of self-pity and defeat.
Take the process of writing a book. I love to write, and doing my daily practice of morning pages is a crucial part of my routine. But when I set out to write my first book, I knew it was important to pace myself — I’d never done anything like this before, but I understood that just like starting a business, it would be a marathon, not a sprint.
Rather than sit down at my desk one day, determined to knock out the first few chapters in a single sitting, I made a plan. I created a detailed outline and set achievable goals within that framework. I gauged how much I could do in a given period, and tweaked it as needed until I settled into a rhythm. Sometimes, life got in the way — one of my kids caught the flu, or I got wrapped up in a new product launch at Jotform — and I wasn’t able to stick to the schedule I made. I gave myself some leeway without allowing myself to make excuses.
Every time I hit one of my micro-goals, I gave myself a pat on the back. Those small achievements added up, and eventually, it happened — I had a whole book.
Stay motivated
When you’re working toward a long-term goal, it’s natural that at some point, your motivation may start to flag. We’re hardwired to seek instant gratification — Sigmund Freud even termed it “the pleasure principle.”
To stay committed to your long-term goals, you have to find ways to stay motivated. For me, I like to seek out books and blogs about successful people. Reading about the odds others have overcome and their dedication to their mission, whether it’s ending apartheid or founding a company, is inspiring, and it keeps my spirits up when things get hard.
As a proud bootstrapped founder, I also find motivation in seeing a growth trend in my business. Even if you’re not turning a massive profit yet, that upward trend is a sign that you’re on the right track. This is another reason I have always avoided VC money — when you take an investment, you have to watch as your bank balance dwindles each month. It’s disheartening. With bootstrapping, that balance should be going up, sending a signal that the sacrifices you’re making are worth it.
Related: 60-Second Business Tips: 3 Ways to Boost Confidence
Embrace your strengths and acknowledge your weaknesses
There’s probably a reason why you’re on the path you’re on. You wouldn’t be trying to become a chef if you hated cooking, or dreaming up a new SaaS product if you hated coding. It’s important to know your strengths, but being aware of your weaknesses also makes you less likely to become crippled by them.
I find that getting to know my weaknesses and working on them is the best way to keep them from taking up too much of my mental space. I’m an introvert, and the first time I gave a talk in front of a room full of people, I was incredibly nervous. My first attempts didn’t go perfectly. But rather than beat myself up, or decide I was a failure, I practiced. And practiced, and practiced. Now, I actually love giving talks. Embracing the discomfort and risk of deviating from what I knew I was good at allowed me to increase my self-confidence.
There’s no two ways around it — if you want to accomplish something meaningful, there are going to be times when it’s going to be tough. Believing in yourself and your abilities will make the knocks less painful and give you the strength to keep going.
