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Lately, I have been thinking a lot about becoming. When it comes to my business and even who I am as a person, I ask myself a lot, “Where is this going?” We all tend to be future-focused, especially in business, but what about the past? What about how we arrived here and where we stand today?
Every marketer knows you have to be an expert storyteller to truly form connections with your community. It occurred to me that I have never shared my story of how I got here, writing this article for Entrepreneur.
Every now and then, I have people tell me they look at my LinkedIn and see I’m doing so well, ‘I’m killin’ it.’ But most days, I don’t feel that way at all.
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If I am honest, the wins sometimes feel eclipsed by the immense losses I don’t really love to share. On a walk yesterday, I started thinking about a retrospective of my Entrepreneurial career. I can stand here today proud to tell you about the business I have built, but for the first 5 years of my business, I was embarrassed to even say, “I own my own company.” I thought it would make me sound like a snob. Better to say I am a freelance marketer — suffice it to say I have a long way to go.
Today I want to share with you that journey — in three acts:
Act I: The shrinking violet
How did I come to be in marketing?
Well, my mom told me I needed to make money to move out of the house after college so, business major I was. I loved to draw and create; numbers were never my strong suit, so Finance and Accounting were not to be. I landed on Marketing as I saw an opportunity to mix business with creativity. I excelled in my college classes and internship and was ready to take on the world… until I graduated amid a recession and couldn’t find work.
Luckily, the amazing company I interned with agreed to give me a fancy title, marketing experience and the ability to foot my monthly Blackberry bill until I found something permanent a year later.
I will never forget landing my first full-time agency job. I was on cloud 9. This place had it all, copy, creative, production — all in-house. I was an account assistant on three casino accounts, which meant a constant volume of jobs and work. Sometimes, I would get nightmares that I forgot to send an ad to a publication — it was intense, but I got so much experience.
After year 2, though, I was bored. I saw the trajectory of where my life as an account manager would take me, and I wanted more. I was also ready to move out of my parent’s house and into the great city of Philadelphia, so I moved to a global consulting organization — becoming the marketing manager for their life sciences division. It’s important to note here that I knew nothing about Life Sciences, and I was surrounded by a team of some of the smartest people I have ever met in my life.
Intimidation doesn’t even begin to cover what I was feeling. Eventually, I got into a groove where I started to understand my value — people wanted someone who could get things done. The more I accomplished, the better my value (or so I thought at this point).
Based on my past experience, it was comfortable for me to slide into the role of taskmaster. I can check things off a list like nobody’s business! But if you asked me for an opinion on something, I would turn into a hermit crab. I would stutter my words and get so awkward that I would almost black out and not remember what I said. I was sure great at taking notes, though, and whenever someone told me to do something, you best believe it was done.
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My next career move was to a boutique strategy agency. This was the place that made me fall in love with branding. I worked on some of the most incredible brands and got my feet wet in marketing research, but I still felt unfulfilled. One of my clients once pulled me aside and asked me why I never spoke in presentations. She said I knew their account the best, and they wanted to hear more from me. This bewildered 27-year-old Sunny. I knew I was the least smart and experienced person in that room — why would they want to hear from me?
The truth is that I was afraid of speaking up because I felt it wouldn’t be the “right” thing to say. I didn’t know that in marketing, there isn’t always a right answer. It’s about contribution, and your opinion is valid and necessary. I was so afraid of looking dumb that I actually was worse — someone with nothing meaningful to contribute to the conversation.
If there was a silver lining in this time, it was the mentorship I received. I was fortunate enough to have some really amazing colleagues take an interest in me and my development and take that extra time to teach me skills I still utilize today, like knowing how to handle conflict, speak with confidence and make sure the phone is definitely hung up before you start bad-talking clients.
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Act 2: The freefall
Two years later, I had another job. I couldn’t help it; I was unhappy. I always thought another role would fill the void. It was like Cinderella’s slipper: I had to find one that fit just right.
The last role I had I knew wasn’t right, but I was blindsided when I was laid off. I wish I could tell you I took it like a champ: cool, calm and collected. No, I sobbed. My boss’s wife hovered over me while I packed my things, and my co-workers all looked at each other in horror. Not a good look. I like to joke that it was like being dumped by a boyfriend I didn’t particularly like, but it didn’t make it any less scary.
I was nearing 30, jobless and had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I immediately started applying to every job I could find in Philadelphia — but each interview left me more discouraged. I had offers but couldn’t shake the feeling I would be doing more of the same and expecting different results.
A friend suggested I create my own business and start freelancing — all I had to do was build myself a website and do the work I already knew how to do for others. Through another friend, I was introduced to my first client, who needed some part-time marketing help. It was enough to pay my rent, so I thought it would be a nice bridge to my next full-time position.
Little did I know I would fall in love with working for myself. It took several years to realize it fully, but I had the power and control to create my reality. If I didn’t like something — it was up to me to fix it. My successes and failures were all my own. As time went by, I started picking up more work and getting more honed in on what I liked and didn’t like, but I still felt that crushing sense of imposter syndrome. I would beat myself up so badly over every little thing that came up. So many days, I would question if I knew what I was doing. But here’s what no one tells you: you have to be here, in the place of insecurity, to find the place of business confidence.
My biggest saving grace? Finding a great community of female entrepreneurs. After years of timidly attending one-off events, I finally committed to joining a mastermind group. It was no joke — there was a ton of accountability and work involved, but having that support system of other women who had been through similar things in their businesses made me level up. They say you are the summation of who you surround yourself with, and it’s true. Being in the company of really smart, driven business owners made me feel more smart and confident every time we met. I no longer felt like I needed to play small — instead, I felt encouraged to dream big.
At this time, I really started investing in myself and my big dreams. I hired four amazing marketers, got an office space, took the marketing of my own business to the next level and improved my quality of work. I had gone from having no idea what I was doing to feeling exactly where I was meant to be.
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Act 3: The marketing slayer
Please know I don’t like to take myself too seriously, and I am laughing as I write that title. (I am a huge Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan.) This era of my business feels vastly different. So many things have shifted and changed — in what I want, where I am going and how I want to get there.
Ever since I was 21 and studying abroad in Rome, I have wanted to do marketing work internationally. This year, I traveled to London to exhibit at a trade show for small business owners, took part in two UK marketing presentations for SMEs and am working on forming partnerships with international trade organizations at home and abroad. That’s what’s lighting up my soul at the moment.
I’ve also become a lot more in tune with why I do this. It’s not just for me; it’s because I want to leave a legacy of positivity and creativity — to have others know that they have the ability to create their own paths as well. With that in mind, I have taught classes with the Junior Achievement League, volunteered with Be A Mentor, and created a scholarship at my Alma Mater (shoutout, Rowan University) to help support the next generation of marketing geniuses.
Complete transparency: I no longer know where any of this is going. I used to spend so much time goal setting and planning — and while that’s still useful — I’ve found that living, experiencing, growing and changing is one of the most rewarding parts of this entrepreneurial career.
When you take the time to forge your own path, you get to dictate where it goes. I used to think I needed to be on this track to success. I saw it so clearly in my mind. What’s funny is that while ticking things off the list, I realized it was not what I wanted at all. Paramount to me is the autonomy of creating my own journey and leaving a lasting legacy of support, creativity and fun.
On the road of entrepreneurship, we often ask what we are going to get along the way — awards, accolades, recognition, etc., but I think the more important question we all should ask ourselves is what we want to leave behind.
