Is It Okay to Lick My Fingers at a Crab Boil? 

Welcome to Rules of Consumption, a column where Eater staff writer Amy McCarthy answers any and all questions you have regarding dining etiquette. Have a conundrum? Email advice@eater.com for answers.

Dear Amy,

I grew up in the Midwest, a place sadly lacking in crab boils, and moved to Maryland about a decade ago. There, I found heaven — so many tables piled high with the steaming, spice-crusted crustaceans. Which brings me to my question: is it weird if I lick my fingers at the crab boil?

I, obviously, understand that it’s impolite to lick your fingers in normal dining circumstances — I’d never dare at a fancy restaurant, even if crab was on the menu — but the crab boil seems like a special case. I’m eating with my hands, which are getting absolutely coated in all those delicious crab juices and plenty of Old Bay. At a recent boil, I mindlessly licked a fat glob of crab fat off my thumb, and the person sitting next to me looked at me like I was a disgusting monster. I was immediately embarrassed, and tried to keep my tongue in my mouth for the rest of the night.

But was I actually impolite? If I’m eating with my hands, is it weird for me to lick them? Is there a way to lick seasoning from one’s fingertips… politely? HELP.

Signed,

Crab Fingers

Dear Crab Fingers,

This one is a doozy. I grew up in Louisiana, where crawfish boils are a staple of the summer, and I admit that I have never actually thought about this question. And maybe that’s because I’m mostly eating crawfish around my family and closest friends, people who I do not care if they think I’m a disgusting monster. (They already know I am, and love me anyway.) I will say, my mother always said that she’d never eat crawfish in public, probably for reasons just like yours — eating crustaceans is messy as hell, and honestly, that’s part of the fun.

In the context of a crab boil, I have to say I don’t think it’s especially rude to lick your paws — a little bit! — when they’re covered in seasoning and crab fat. First of all, that stuff is delicious. It’s an essential part of the crab feast. You’re already being asked to demolish these little creatures with your hands, picking away bits of shell and gently fishing nubs of meat from their innards, and that’s just not a polite way to eat. We’re already in a situation where the dining norms are a little messier than the typical dinner party.

All that being said, there have to be some guardrails. You should definitely not be licking your fingers and then dipping them into any communal dishes. Nobody wants your germs — or your saliva — all over their corn on the cob or lingering on the handle of the potato salad spoon. You also have to be judicious with your finger licking, I think. It’s one thing to lick a particularly enticing bit of seasoning from your thumb once, it’s quite the other to spend the entire meal slurping on your own extremities. As with most things, moderation is key.

The other thing you have to do is immediately wash your hands as soon as you’re finished eating. Don’t forget and grab another beer, don’t linger around chatting — get up and wash those mitts. Maybe even keep hand sanitizer at the table, so you can get your spit germs off your hands as quickly as possible. Make an announcement that you’re heading off to wash away the crabby remnants, and perhaps that will assuage anyone who is slightly grossed out by your finger licking habit.

Michael Hoeweler is a lifestyle illustrator who loves to make work of and about people, nature, food, fashion, and more. He spends his days with his partner Billy and their two cats just outside of NYC, in Bloomfield, New Jersey.

Justin Tsucalas is an award-winning photographer and owner of Plaid Photo, a Baltimore, Maryland-based studio.Creative director and set designer Giulietta Pinna specializes in visual content creation for commercial and editorial food, interior, lifestyle, product and still life projects.