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As a performance-oriented psychologist, I often meet clients seeking advice on the best mindset for success. I applaud them for recognizing the importance of psychology and attitude and for making the effort to gain insights into these elusive concepts. The problem is that many hopeful high achievers assume that there is a single “best” way of operating, as if selecting a mindset is like choosing a software system: make the right choice and then rely on that approach every day without further thought or consideration.
There are plenty of self-help books touting a recipe for success that has worked for others. Except that what works for someone else may not work for you, and what worked for you yesterday may not work today or tomorrow.
So what do I tell clients who ask, for example, whether it’s better to work on their weaknesses or to rely on their strengths? How about whether to spend more time focusing on achieving success versus avoiding failure? Or is it better to make important decisions independently or collaboratively? In all cases, my answer is yes, yes, and yes.
Rather than holding out hope for a definitive answer to these and other questions, the wise person accepts that the only mindset guaranteed to work consistently is an unfixed mindset. The individual with an unfixed mindset adheres to one approach in a given situation and then flips to the other side of the coin when the context necessitates it. Rather than seeking a single, consistent way of operating, they are willing to contradict themselves from one day to another. They realize that developing a personal psychological approach is not a “one-and-done” task but an ongoing endeavor. They embody the sentiment penned by Ralph Waldo Emerson in his essay on self-reliance: “Speak what you think today in hard words and tomorrow speak what tomorrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said today.”
Related: 5 Entrepreneurial Mindsets That Drive Success
Choosing both sides of the coin
Let’s look more closely at the initial question: should you work to improve your weaknesses or emphasize your strengths? There are solid reasons to do both. The principles of deliberate practice, studied extensively by Anders Ericsson and colleagues, clearly show that to become an expert at anything, you must focus on improving. This requires you to recognize your shortcomings, work to improve them, and devote thousands of hours to this process. So, if you’re skilled at striking up conversations yet lacking in your written communication, you ought to improve your writing. In contrast, the StrengthsFinder approach, developed by Tom Rath, advocates for playing to your strengths rather than focusing on your weaknesses, and there is good rationale for this approach as well.
Which mindset is best? Well, both, depending on the situation. If you have failed at something – perhaps losing out on a contract or being denied a job opportunity, you would do well to reflect on the shortcomings that led to this outcome. If, however, you’re about to deliver a pitch or interview for a position, then it’s more prudent to lean into your strengths. These different contexts would be analogous to practice time versus game time for an athlete. When elite athletes are practicing, they typically work to fill holes in their game. Yet when competition rolls around, they’re not focusing on all the gaps in their skillset. This would threaten their confidence and lead to self-doubt. Instead, they aim for a robust belief that they have what it takes to defeat the opponents in front of them. Then, when the competition is over, they’ll review the game film, focusing again on what they need to improve, and the cycle continues.
Asking whether it is better to adopt one mindset or another ignores the fact that circumstances change. So rather than ask which way of thinking is best, ask instead which approach would be preferred in a given situation. Context matters.
Working towards balance
The wisdom of holding an unfixed mindset is the primary premise of the forthcoming book, “Extreme Balance: Paradoxical Principles That Make You a Champion.” This volume, which I have co-authored with Ben Askren and Joe De Sena, describes how champion athletes leverage a flexible mindset to achieve greatness, and the lessons contained within apply readily to entrepreneurs and anyone pursuing success. Ben is a champion wrestler, mixed martial artist, and a highly successful coach, and Joe is the founder and CEO of Spartan, a leading global endurance sports brand.
“Extreme Balance” provides insight into the mental battles athletes face and guidance on leveraging these for your benefit. We cover a number of false dichotomies and show how and when to switch from one approach to another. Chapter titles include “Thinking You’re Good Enough and Thinking You’re Never Good Enough,” “Preparing for Everything and Expecting the Unexpected,” and “Being an Individual and Being a Team Player.” If you want to achieve the one mindset that will, paradoxically, help you succeed in any situation, this book can get you there.
Finding psychological balance is not a matter of just picking a spot in the middle of two extremes and staying there. It’s an ongoing process of adapting your approach to the demands of the situation. It’s not easy, but if it were, then everyone would do it.
