Even if you’re not the boss’s favorite, getting into your manager’s good graces can improve your morale and productivity, and ultimately, boost your career.
But it takes a lot more than being a hard worker who meets deadlines to be a standout employee.
If you want a relationship that goes beyond “we get along fine,” you’ll need to connect with your boss on a personal level, say Gensler’s co-CEOs and global co-chairs Andy Cohen and Diane Hoskins, who help manage the design and architecture firm’s more than 7,000 employees across the world.
Hoskins has noticed that younger employees — Gen Zers and millennials —are especially good at establishing strong, empathetic relationships with higher-ups.
“Many of Gensler’s younger employees will find 15 minutes on my calendar just to grab coffee and talk, whether it’s about work or life outside of work, our hobbies and interests,” she says. “I can’t tell you how much I appreciate and enjoy those conversations.”
Having that informal one-on-one time with your manager allows for more casual, free-flowing conversation, which can help build trust and give them ideas on how to better support your career goals.
“In these kinds of conversations, most bosses are thinking, ‘What I can offer or say to help this person unlock some of their thinking about their careers, or try something new?'” she says. “These conversations can end up being really meaningful and productive.”
To develop a stronger rapport with your boss, start by scheduling the occasional coffee chat —Hoskins says you don’t need more than 15 minutes — and come prepared to ask about their interests and hobbies, in addition to current work projects they’re excited about.
As for what not to talk about, Alison Green, in her widely read advice blog Ask A Manager, says it’s smart to avoid discussing religion, politics or money troubles with your manager. More casual conversations about your personal lives are fine, Green says, but you shouldn’t go into detail about your relationship problems or what you discuss with your therapist.
If it’s hard to find time on their calendar for a check-in, Cohen says you can still build a strong personal relationship with your boss with small gestures.
For example: You can ask how their week is going at the top of a meeting, express appreciation for their contributions and celebrate them on special occasions, like their birthday or work anniversary.
“A lot of people are intimidated by their bosses, but a good leader likes to hear from their employees, hang out and have open lines of communication,” he says. “That’s really important for building a positive work environment.”
What most employees don’t realize, adds Hoskins, is that “as much as you want your boss to like you, they want you to like them too. So don’t be afraid to be seen, to build a close relationship with them.”
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