Now, our bad pandemic habits may be conveying messages we don’t mean to send.
“We all did a lot of video calling, and that breeds contentment,” said Liz Wyse, author of the “Hybrid Working Guide” at Debrett’s, a British professional coaching company that specializes in etiquette. “Everyone’s standards have slipped.”
So what are the modern expectations for meetings?
We spoke to some etiquette experts to get the best tips for meetings in this new environment.
Virtual meetings changed the way we think about dressing for meetings — in some cases it meant business on top and pajamas on bottom. But experts say no matter how enticing it may be to participate without pants, don’t do it.
“You never know when you’re going to have to pop up [out of your seat],” said Diane Gottsman, the San Antonio-based owner of the professional etiquette training company the Protocol School of Texas. “We have to anticipate that something is going to happen even if it probably won’t.”
Consider your overall appearance, said Julia Esteve Boyd, a Switzerland-based etiquette consultant. Your dress code may be a little more informal if you’re on a video call with colleagues, but with clients or executives, you may want to dress up.
“You have to have the same level of formality that you would if it was a face-to-face meeting,” she said.
In hybrid environments, there are often more distractions. Whether it is your roommate talking to you or email pings and side notifications, the chances of being interrupted are plentiful.
It may be helpful to switch off your notifications and keep your eyes steady on the screen for important meetings, experts said. Other participants can see when your eyes wander. In more casual circumstances, like a catch-up between close colleagues, drafting an email during a meeting may be acceptable. Just let others know you’re taking care of a quick item on the side.
It’s considered polite to mute yourself when you’re not speaking, especially if it’s a large meeting or if there’s noise in your background. But try to keep your camera on when you can, experts say. Turning it off may signal that you’re not paying attention.
“When you’re working from a remote environment, remember you still have to be fully present and engaged,” said Esteve Boyd.
Keep your dirty dishes out of sight
All attendees, whether remote or in-person, should pay attention to their backgrounds.
If you’re virtual, make sure your background is tidy and not distracting. A blank wall is fine, a work nook even better, Gottsman said. On formal video calls, you may not want to have your bed or dirty dishes behind you. And in some cases, such as in a busy coffee shop, you may have to blur the background, as people near you may not want to be seen in your meeting. Virtual backgrounds are also acceptable. Just make sure the image isn’t distracting with a lot of animation or flashing colors, said Esteve Boyd.
In-person attendees should make sure that the background lighting isn’t too harsh; this can darken the image of the attendees in the room.
If you regularly nail pick, swivel your chair, window watch, eye roll or slouch, you may unintentionally be broadcasting that you’re bored and unengaged.
Body language and facial expressions become exceptionally important in hybrid meetings. Video conferencing tools not only enlarge the images of virtual attendees, but, in some cases, also give in-person attendees their own boxes on the screen, meaning every move and face you make becomes more obvious to others.
“All these things are exaggerated on the screen,” Wyse said. “Be conscious of those things.”
One of the benefits of hybrid meetings is that people can participate with their voices or via the chat. But not all chats are welcome, and an overactive chat can be distracting.
“I would suggest using it sparingly,” Esteve Boyd said. “Sometimes I’m so busy reading the [chat] chain, I’m not listening to the speaker.”
Meeting hosts can also disable the chat function if they find it too distracting, she added. And if your message in the chat is critical, you may also want to verbalize it, as in-person attendees may not catch the fleeting pop-up, Gottsman said.
One of the most annoying things about hybrid meetings is that people often don’t feel included. Whether it’s interruptions because of video lag or funny things that happen in the room, isolating virtual attendees can happen often.
“If something funny happens … make sure you say, ‘You may not have heard, but this is what was said,’” Esteve Boyd said. “It’s showing you are aware that they are still a part of the meeting.”
Video delays can cause awkward interruptions from attendees accidentally talking over one another. It’s important that all attendees pause and make space for that delay so that everyone can chime in if they want to, Gottsman said. You also may have to make a hand gesture if you’re having trouble cutting in, Wyse added. Virtual participants can use the raise hand function. The problem may still occur from time to time, but the effort to include all attendees, especially those who are virtual, matters.
“A successful meeting is one where everyone feels like they have space and permission to speak up,” Wyse said.
Munching on-screen can be distracting and off-putting. So keep your snacks off-screen when you can.
There are exceptions, such as lunch meetings, when everyone is eating or nibbling in a meeting because it’s the only chance they’ll get. But Gottsman said keep your camera on if possible.
“I’d rather see you eating the sandwich, then have your camera off,” she said. “We really don’t know if you’re really there if it’s off.”
But if you’re uncomfortable munching on camera, just let attendees know you’re turning off your camera to eat and flip it back on when you’re done, Esteve Boyd said.
Acknowledge issues beforehand
There may be times you’re dealing with extenuating circumstances and have to work from a noisy environment, leave early or join a meeting late. In those cases, it’s always best to tell attendees and the moderator up front, experts said.
“Like all etiquette, it’s better to acknowledge,” Wyse said. “Explain that you’re in an odd situation.”
Respect everyone’s time
A rule of thumb for meetings: Show up on time and end on time. This has become particularly important as many people now have back-to-back hybrid meetings, which can lead to video fatigue.
There may be instances when you need to start the meeting a couple of minutes late, but always end on time, if not early, Gottsman said. Stay focused on the topic. If you have something to discuss at the end, unless it’s critical, follow up after the meeting.
“We don’t want to start a new meeting one minute before we go,” she said. “If you prolong the meeting, you’re not the favorite peer.”
