“If you don’t meet your husband in college, good luck.” That’s what my cousin once told me. While a husband isn’t necessarily my top priority, I’d still like to keep my options open. After graduating college and now working a primarily remote job, meeting potential romantic partners can be tough. That’s why I, along with thousands of others of all ages, now turn to dating apps to meet people.
Dating apps tend to get a bad reputation. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard my mother say that back in the day you’d just go out to the neighborhood bar to meet people. Well, times have changed — and in some ways for the better. Dating apps have emerged for all groups and niches, allowing singles to narrow down the field and find exactly who they’re looking for.
The downside is that with all these apps it’s hard to know which you should focus your time on and which to avoid. Now, I have a lot of first-hand experience with current dating apps. This is a list of some of the best dating apps out there, including the experiences they offer, their unique features and the pool of people you can expect to find on each platform.
So what are you waiting for? Sign up for these top dating sites or apps, start chatting and maximize your chances of meeting your match. We’ll update this list periodically. (Byline note: This story was initially written by Rebecca Fleenor and has been substantially updated, including the intro, by Charlotte Maracina. The blurbs below are initialed to reflect which of the authors’ respective opinions are referenced.)
Best dating sites
| Bumble | Best for women who don’t wait around |
|---|---|
| Tinder | Best for casual chat and hookups |
| OKCupid | Best free dating site |
| Hinge | Best for relationship seekers |
| Coffee Meets Bagel | Best for serious relationships |
| Happn | Best for local dating |
| Her | Best for lesbian, bisexual and queer women |
| Raya | Best for social media influencers |
| Plenty of Fish | Best for conversations |
| Match | Best for someone with money to spend |
| eHarmony | Best for marriage seekers |
eHarmony was one of the pioneers among online dating site options, and — while I haven’t personally used this one — we all remember the pitch for online daters, thanks to years of TV commercials: The service matches couples based on “29 dimensions” of compatibility and interests (as determined by a thorough relationship questionnaire and personality test). While you can review the profiles of your prospective matches for free, you’ll need to pay to unlock the full features of the service. There’s a three-month plan and a six-month plan, and they come with a guarantee: If, after three months of paid membership and communicating with at least five members, you’re not satisfied, eHarmony will refund your money. Despite a rocky road that eventually involved a high-profile lawsuit, the site finally added same-sex dating in 2013. I have mixed feelings about using the site myself, but it’s at least technically more inclusive now. — RF
Bumble is basically Tinder for women… and on a timer. Bumble is a free dating app that requires women to message first. If the guy doesn’t message back within 24 hours, he loses the potential dates. Because that’s the one thing my love life was really missing: arbitrary time limits.
The timer is designed to encourage contact and some people really do appreciate that feature. But if you’re someone who procrastinates, Bumble may not be for you. Because women must message first, Bumble tends to weed out the more insecure males from the dating pool. However, the rate of overly confident men tends to be higher than I’ve seen on other apps. Bumble also has a BFF feature to help you meet new people, but that’s really not our focus, so I’ll save it for another time. — RF
Those looking for love, lust and everything in between have a good chance of finding that on Hinge. Hinge is the app “designed to be deleted” and ranks as one of my favorites. While Tinder may be more for hookups, Hinge is for those looking for something a little more than a one night stand. Since it first launched, Hinge has added dozens of features that allow you to display your interests and specify who you’re looking for. My only issue with the app is that they’ve recently began limiting the amounts of likes you’re allowed to give requiring you to upgrade to the paid version of the app for unlimited likes. — RF
OkCupid, how you confuse me. I have friends who’ve met their ideal match and even spouses through OkCupid. My last serious relationship came from the OkCupid dating service. In fact, I’ve been on OkCupid on and off, for roughly the last 11 years. Profiles are a lot more in-depth than most online dating sites and if you answer a seemingly endless series of questions (much like a personality test), they will spit out a reasonable Match/Enemy percentage ratio on profiles to help you gauge compatibility based on interests.
Changes in the last few years have made OkCupid a bit more like Tinder (they’re owned by the same company), focusing more on swiping and eliminating the ability to message a user without matching with them first. Online daters can still send a message — it just won’t show up in the recipient’s inbox unless you match. Because who doesn’t enjoy sending a thoughtful message to someone who might never see it? However, OkCupid has pointed out that these changes did help lower the number of offensive messages and fake profiles people received, which might be a worthwhile trade-off. Unfortunately in my experience OkCupid has become a bit of a dating ghost town. — RF
Happn matches you with people who are located nearby. It’s a cool concept and helpful for people who want to meet someone in a more organic manner. That said, I’ve never met a single person who actually uses the app.
After signing up, Happn showed me 68 people it said I’d crossed paths with in the preceding 3 hours, though I hadn’t left my apartment all day. This might be helpful if you’re looking to date your immediate neighbors (or Uber drivers), but I don’t see the attraction when competitors like Tinder already show the distance between you and other users. Frankly, if I saw an attractive guy in a coffee shop, I’d just approach him rather than check to see if he’s on Happn. The app seems designed for people who don’t want to use online dating sites but also don’t want to approach people in real life. Pick a lane. — RF
Most dating apps are fairly LGBTQ inclusive. Still, it’s nice to have an app to call your own. Her is tailored to lesbian, bisexual and queer women. It’s a worthy notion — but the app has some bugs and glitches that made it frustrating to use. Most of my queer female friends have told me they found the app “just OK” and not perfect and that they usually end up back on Tinder or Bumble. Still I checked it regularly for some time and had a few pleasant conversations with actual human beings. Isn’t that all we’re really looking for in a dating app? — RF
If you work in virtually any creative industry — whether you’re an executive assistant for a music label or a full time social media influencer — and are looking to date someone in a similar field, Raya is the app for you. You’ll have to fill out an application then go through a verification process that can take anywhere from two days to two years. Hot tip: Listing references of friends who are currently on the app will help your application move further. — CM
Coffee Meets Bagel hopes to offer people better-quality matches by sending curated daily matches, or “bagels,” each day at noon. They suggest ice-breakers for first messages and the profiles are more in-depth than Tinder. For people who like a little extra hand-holding, CMB isn’t the worst option. However, I found the app confusing to use, with too many features and a lot of gimmicks. I shouldn’t have to look up online tutorials to figure out how to use a dating app. Plus why call matches Bagels?
I was also disappointed in the notifications, which I found too pushy. CMB was constantly “gently” reminding me to message people I’d matched with. I eventually disabled the app after receiving the following notification: “Show [match name] who’s boss and break the ice today!” Should a potential future relationship be rooted in a hierarchical power dynamic? At the end of the day, I have friends who’ve had the perfect match on CMB, but it isn’t one of my favorite online dating apps. — RF
Whether you’re looking for a casual hookup, potential date, friendship or an LTR (long term relationship), Tinder has you covered. It’s basically the first stop for those entering the dating world. If you want to play the odds when it comes to online dating, you need to be swiping where everyone’s swiping.
On the upside, the profiles are brief, which helps you to make decisions quickly. The downside is that a short dating profile makes it harder to figure out what a lot of people are looking for. Knowing very little about a person can also make initial messaging a lot more challenging. You’ll need to wade through a sea of profiles, which makes it easy to pass over people you might have given a chance under different circumstances. — RF
Plenty of Fish launched in 2003 — and it shows. The problem I come across over and over again is that POF is filled with bots and scams, even though it may have the most users of any dating app. POF’s issues don’t mean you won’t be able to find love on it, but the odds might be stacked against you. Unless you’re into dating bots. — RF
Match.com has a free version, but the general consensus is that you’ll need a paid subscription to have any luck. That’s a hangover from the early days of online dating sites, when a paid basic membership to a site meant you were serious about settling down. But my friends and I have long since come to the conclusion that you might be a little too eager to find a significant other or the perfect partner if you pay to get dates, particularly given the abundance of free dating apps. There are definitely paid features on some dating apps that are worth the price, but I’ve yet to be able to justify shelling out cash for love. — RF
Remember, dating apps are all about quantity. The more chances you give people, the more likely you’ll find an unexpected match. Good luck on your journey for love.
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