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INDIANAPOLIS — The Indianapolis Colts played the Pittsburgh Steelers in throwback jerseys that looked the same as ever. Not sure how that’s possible, because the design they wore Monday night was 66 years old. Same old look, blue with white stripes. Simple, like a 12-year-old designed it.
Sound familiar?
The Colts played the Steelers on Monday night with a throwback coach, Jeff Saturday, a member of the Colts’ Ring of Honor, and looked the same as ever. Not sure how that’s possible, with changes at coach and offensive coordinator, but the Colts’ 24-17 loss to Pittsburgh was their second in three games under Saturday. And it’s the same old look, starting slow and screwing up late and all the time running an offense that looks painfully simple.
Like a 12-year-old designed it.
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This isn’t the NFL franchise we want around here, but it’s the one we’re stuck with for six more games. The hiring of Saturday was bold and refreshing, but so is a stick of peppermint chewing gum. Eventually the flavor wears off, as does the good feeling from that win against the Las Vegas Raiders in Saturday’s debut, and reality sets in:
This team stinks.
At least you can throw the chewing gum away.
Felt like a Steelers home game
First offensive play for the Colts, and Matt Ryan throws a pass that should’ve been intercepted. It was a short pass, no farther than you to that wall, but a Steelers defensive back got his hands on it and batted it into the air, where a Steelers linebacker failed to grab the ricochet.
Second down. Ryan throws a pass that was intercepted. Another short pass, like maybe his arm is sore and it’s all he can throw, and the Steelers picked it off.
Meanwhile, the Colts defense isn’t stopping the Steelers offense, even if Pittsburgh’s quarterback is Kenny Pickett. He might be good someday, an actual adult quarterback in the NFL, but right now Pickett is a child still learning, and the Colts couldn’t teach him a damn thing.
Look up at the scoreboard, and the Colts are trailing 16-3 in the second quarter, and it’s like nothing has changed. One of the biggest reasons Colts owner Jim Irsay fired coach Frank Reich was because the team had become listless, uninspired, especially to start games. The Colts had started games slowly for years when Chuck Pagano was the coach here, too. Reporters asked him about it so many times that, honestly, we stopped listening to his answers. Something about chopping wood or being where your feet are or whatever.
But the first half at Lucas Oil Stadium was dreadful, and if you were there, you know what I mean. If not, picture a sea of yellow. Those were Steelers fans, waving their stupid little yellow towels, and while those towels just gave the appearance of a huge Pittsburgh contingent — I’d say the crowd was 80% blue and 20% yellow — this sounded for most of the first half like a Pittsburgh home game.
First, every time tight end Pat Freiermuth caught a pass, the crowd was giving it to him: Muuuuuuuuuth! When the Colts had the ball, the crowd was trying to get in their head by chanting: De-FENSE, De-DENSE! Again, this felt like a Steelers home game.
The only time you knew for sure you were in Indianapolis was when the offense kept screwing up, and the home crowd let them have it. At halftime, after the Colts had started at their own 41 and daringly played their way into a 59-yard field attempt on the final play — the kick was blocked — the crowd booed the Colts off the field.
Yup. We’re in Indianapolis.
Colts need new QB, and losing helps
Then, the second half.
“Same players,” Saturday was telling me later, “same plays.”
The difference?
“Execution,” he said.
Sure, that’s one explanation. Here’s another: The Steelers lost interest, like a cat who gets bored with a dead mouse. Seriously, that first half was so bad, so deflating, the Steelers looked drowsy to start the third quarter. Maybe that’s the Colts’ strategy, going forward: Bore ’em to death!
Dallis Flowers returned the opening kickoff 89 yards to set up a Jonathan Taylor touchdown, and the Colts scored another touchdown after a fumble at the Pittsburgh 1, followed by a short Pittsburgh punt, gave Indianapolis good field position again. Next thing you know, the Colts are winning 17-16, and things are looking really bad.
Because how are the Colts going to find their next quarterback in the 2023 NFL Draft if they keep beating the lousy teams who will be picking ahead of them? They’ve beaten Denver, Las Vegas and Jacksonville. Add Pittsburgh to that group, and the Colts are looking at a pick outside the top 10. Can’t find a QB there.
False alarm. The Colts defense turned Kenny Pickett into Kenny Stabler, allowing the Steelers to drive 75 yards for the go-ahead touchdown, even with star running back Najee Harris (abdominal) out of the game. A personal foul on Colts linebacker E.J. Speed, who karate-chopped Pickett in the neck area, didn’t help.
The Colts offense had a chance, though. After a slow start that extended well into the second quarter — at one point Pittsburgh had 164 yards and 11 first downs, compared to 6 yards and zero first downs for the Colts — Matt Ryan and Co. woke up in the third quarter.
Everything changed, and execution doesn’t explain it all. Saturday and Ryan said, separately, that the Steelers’ defense was giving them confusing looks early. Probably easy to confuse the Colts’ rookie play-caller, Parks Frazier. Little more than an intern a few years ago, now he’s replacing offensive coordinator Marcus Brady and matching wits with Mike Tomlin? Not fair.
You ask me, Ryan made the adjustments at halftime that Frazier and his quarterbacks coach, Scott Milanovich, couldn’t see in real time. I asked Ryan about that, afterward — how much of the offense’s halftime adjustments were a you thing? — and he wouldn’t touch it. He said it was a team effort.
Sure, maybe it was. Maybe this team just isn’t very good.
We’ll always have those first few days of the Jeff Saturday Era, and the fantasy was fun while it lasted, but now we’re stuck with reality. And the reality is, the Colts are playing 2022 NFL opponents with an offense that resembles their jerseys Monday night.
Straight out of 1956.
Find IndyStar columnist Gregg Doyel on Twitter at @GreggDoyelStar or at www.facebook.com/greggdoyelstar.
