Within the authentic Celebrity Wars film, launched again in 1977, Luke Skywalker is cleansing his newly bought droid R2-D2. He unintentionally triggers a secret message despatched from Princess Leia aboard the send Tantive IV, revealing a message that kickstarts the film’s 2d act and — in some ways — the Celebrity Wars franchise as an endeavor:
“Lend a hand me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You might be my best hope.”
It is a vintage line. Possibly the defining line in a chain filled with them. However in 2022, on Would possibly the Fourth of all days, it is a line that hits in a different way.
In Would possibly 2022, weeks forward of Obi-Wan Kenobi‘s premiere on Disney Plus, it may well be me handing over that line. Me: A bruised and battered Celebrity Wars fan, looking at aghast as Disney launched clunker after clunker into the canon.
As I press play at the new trailer for the collection, it may well be me in hologram shape: “Lend a hand me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You might be my best hope.”
And from a peculiar, meta point of view it may well be Disney itself. Following a combined big-budget trilogy and in large part unsuccessful derivative motion pictures, chased through mediocre displays like The E book of Boba Fett, Obi-Wan Kenobi seems like an enormous gamble for Disney. A do-or-die second for a chain languishing within the doldrums. A final hope.
Web page-turners, they weren’t
Make no mistake: Celebrity Wars, for the decade no less than, has sorta sucked. All over that length Celebrity Wars has taken me on a wild adventure that started with anger, then acceptance, however that in the end resulted in entire indifference.
I merely do not care about Celebrity Wars to any extent further, and I don’t believe I am by myself. I am not invested in its universe, its characters or its good fortune. Celebrity Wars — that mythical story that takes position a very long time in the past in a galaxy a ways, a ways away — has misplaced its mystique.
It stings more difficult as a result of Disney to begin with were given it proper. After a well-made (albeit secure) homage film in The Pressure Awakens, Celebrity Wars broke the mould with The Ultimate Jedi; a film that challenged now not best assumptions about Jedi lore and different hokey-pokey bullshit, however notions of nostalgia and fandom itself. Briefly, it completely dominated.
In possibly the most efficient Celebrity Wars scene ever placed on movie, Yoda stands in entrance of a blazing hearth he himself began. “The sacred texts,” screams Luke, in agony.
“Web page-turners, they weren’t,” replies Yoda.
This used to be a film that instructed us to “let the previous die, kill it if you need to.” It used to be the entirety the Celebrity Wars collection wanted, and it used to be wonderful.
After all everybody were given mad. Disney panicked. Upward push of Skywalker, a cobbled-together spreadsheet of a film, used to be the end result. It regarded, felt and performed like a film written through a poisonous Reddit thread long gone sentient, and it undid each daring choice made in The Ultimate Jedi. It used to be the primary nail within the coffin of my very own Celebrity Wars fandom, however it would not be the final.
Within the wake of Upward push of Skywalker now we have observed Celebrity Wars do little however pander to an target market determined to indulge in nostalgia. To be transparent: All of us wish to take our proportion of the blame for this. We’ve got devolved right into a cursed collective that judges the standard of displays like The Mandalorian and The E book of Boba Fett in line with the standard of its cameos. Did a grotesquely CGI’d Luke Skywalker flip up? Just right. No Ahsoka Tano or Child Yoda on this episode? Dangerous.
It is totally warped.
House Pictures From NASA and Past Make Celebrity Wars Really feel Very Actual
That is a reputation I have not heard in a very long time
Given the lackluster high quality of Disney’s fresh Celebrity Wars output, it is unreasonable to be expecting Obi-Wan Kenobi to sign a sea alternate, however I retain a small, smoldering ember of hope. For a couple of causes.
Reason why 1: The stakes really feel prime. Obi-Wan Kenobi is a central persona within the Celebrity Wars universe, and he is performed through one in every of Hollywood’s greatest stars. Of all of the displays launched on Disney Plus, you sense it can be crucial they get this one proper. The ones stakes may lead to Disney enjoying it secure, however I hope it leads to a higher-quality manufacturing around the board.
Reason why 2: We’ve a technology of Celebrity Wars fanatics hankering for a other form of nostalgia. The newest Celebrity Wars trilogy spent six cast hours enjoying with or towards the unique trilogy. In 2022 now we have a bunch of thirtysomethings who grew up along the prequel trilogy.
I am an enemy of nostalgia-bait in nearly all of the media I devour, however I think it may well be amusing to go back to the prequel aesthetic with a brand new set of jointly getting older eyeballs. Prequel-land seems like a distinct Celebrity Wars universe that is much less inflexible and lived in. There may be possible for one thing distinctive there.
In that regard, Obi-Wan may additionally act as a bridge of types. Now not a Rogue One-style bridge — a lifeless film straining to plug gaps that by no means wanted plugging — however one thing extra expansive and imaginative. Inside the tight confines of the Celebrity Wars universe, there is house within the Obi-Wan timeline for one thing other: new characters, new enemies, new planets. There may be additionally house to create connective tissue between the trilogies that feels much less convoluted. Contemporary motion pictures and displays have made Celebrity Wars really feel rickety and small, held at the side of superglue and sticky tape. Possibly I am responsible of projecting my very own hopes and goals right here, however possibly Obi-Wan Kenobi could make Celebrity Wars really feel huge and unknowable once more. I dunno. Possibly.
I’m going to be maximum disillusioned if it continues to color through numbers. Obi-Wan Kenobi may but turn out to be some other bleh Celebrity Wars display, stumbling from one fan carrier cameo to the following like a decaying zombie on the lookout for brains. That is nearly unquestionably the likeliest result right here, however we will dare to dream.
Lend a hand us, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You might be our best hope.